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After decades of waiting, it's finally here. The Magic: The Gathering Story is finally set to arrive this Christmas in a theatre near you.

THE PLOT
After failing to bring down the US government, Osama bin Laden makes a last ditch effort and kidnaps local Level 2 Judge Duncan McGregor. Our hero (Richard Hoaen) must rescue Duncan before Osama kills him and leaves Marv Pagiriugiuagianaiuang without anyone to judge his GP Trial. As the story unfolds, Richard is forced into a tough decision where he must choose between true love and the life of another. Needless to say, HILARITY ENSUES.


THE CAST

Dennis Franz as Richard Hoaen
Donald Diderawitz as Jurgen Hahn
(Note the young Gary Krakower on the right)
Brendan Fraser as Lukasz Dumanski
Jet Li as Kevin Pho
Stifler as Zack Lathrop
Gary Coleman as Curtis Willis Jr.
Dustin Diamond as Josh Rider
Ron Jeremy as (former) Level 3 Judge Chris Page
Carrot Top as Duncan McGregor
Osama bin Laden as Himself
Jack Black as Lee Dawson
Joe Pesci as Dan Gaziani
The Duke Boys as Dan and Steve Cassell
James Gandolfini as Gary Wise
The Invisible Man as Peter Danforth
Pauly Shore as Lee Kestenberg
Steve Buscemi as Cory Conrad
ALF as Susan
Kai Budde as Kyle Reid
Danny Devito as Mike Fernybro
Some Oriental Guy as Eugene Lo AND Cliff Lee
Wesley Snipes as Steve Wolfman
Dustin Hoffman circa Rainman as Benji Roth
Jabba the Hutt as Carole Williams
Corey Feldman as David Felske
The Guy with Big Hair from Baseketball as Josh Bennett
The Cool Ewok with the Spear as Marv Pagrigianiuan
Will Sasso as Mike Croft, Graham Pocock, AND Boyd Hardie
DMX as Paul Johnson
Fabio as Chris Kelly
Steven Segall as Jeff Gerstl
Leonardo DiCaprio as Dave Gerstl
Zachery Ty Bryan as Jeremy "The Kunkler" Kunkle
Ralph Macchio as Greg Mildenberger
Arnold Schwartzenegger as Walter Ritz